Project Manager’s Happy New Year Message

“Happy new year 2012! May all your projects finish on time without any cost or schedule variance.  May all team members stay healthy, happy;and meet all milestone dates.  May the executive sponsor stay happy as it is and does not change mind.”

Happy Project Manager

How does it go up the communication chain?

In the beginning was the plan, and then the specification.

And the plan was without form, and the specification was void.

And the darkness was upon the faces of the implementors;
And they spoke unto their managers, saying: “It is a crock of cow manure, and it stinketh.“

And their manager went to the second level manager, and he spake unto him, saying: “It is a crock of excrement, and none may abide the odor thereof.“

And the second level manager went to the third level, and he spake unto him saying: “It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide before it.“

And the third level went to the division manager, and he spake unto him, saying: “It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.“

And the division manager went to the assistant vice-president, and he spake unto him, saying: “It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong.“

And the assistant vice-president went to the vice-president, and he spake unto him, saying: “It promoteth growth and it is very powerful.“

And the vice-president went before the president and spake unto him, saying: “This powerful new product will promote growth of the company.“

And the president looked upon the product and saw that “It was good!“

What lessons can we draw from this funny tale?  I am interested to know.

Thanks for reading and have a great day.

Reference- ‘Project Planning, Scheduling & Control’ by James P Lewis, Irwin Professional Publishing, Burr Ridge, IL.

The Laws of ….

I got this humorous email today from one of my friend with subject “Newton’s Unpublished Laws” and found it quite funny, I thought of sharing with you all to kick-off  the weekend on a lighter note. 

I have ready many laws (including Murphy’s law) but these are quite unique someone came up with.  And credit goes to whoever wrote it…

1. LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
2. LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.
3. LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
4. LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
5. LAW OF THE ATTRACTION: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
6.  BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
7. LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
8. LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!
9. LAW OF BIO-MECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10.  THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the farthest from the aisle arrive last.
11. LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Don’t you find some of these actually true? Thanks for visiting and have a great weekend!

One Liners

Sense of humor is very important in life.  My friend Seema forwarded me an email with some humorous one-liners; I thought I should share it with others. 

• Regular naps prevent old age… especially if you take them while driving.
• Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
• Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
• They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.
• A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.
• Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
• You can’t buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.
• True friends stab you in the front.
• Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
• Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
• Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
• They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
• Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
• Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
• Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

Have a happy day!

You had problem pronouncing long Indian name?

You might have seen that some Indian names are little complicated to pronounce (particularly by our American and Canadian fellows – may be Europeans too). 

Now-a-days, Indian names are very common in workplace as offices are quite diverse and multi-cultural.  Some have changed their long (or complex to pronounce) Indian names to short ones, the same way William is Bill, Robert is Rob etc. 

In this funny clip,  a guy from America or Europe goes to (may beSouth) India to work (where long and complex names are common).

Someone forwarded me the link to this video clip on Indian Names (probably from a UK TV show).  It’s quite humors, please take it that way.

 Have a great day!